Rachel Dean, OTR/L

As occupational therapists, one of the many skills we work on is behavior management and a child’s ability to regulate their own emotions and behaviors. This is a skill that can be difficult for a child to conquer, so how exactly can you help your child work through their emotions and reduce behavior concerns?

When your child is having a meltdown, acknowledging their feelings helps them know what they’re feeling and feel like you are listening to them. Example: “I can see that you’re feeling upset right now, do you need a break?”

Trying to stay calm when your child is having behavior problems is a great way to model appropriate reactions during stressful scenarios. Using a calm, quiet voice when talking to your child will help them regulate their own emotions.

When your child is having a meltdown, it is sometimes hard for them to make a choice on how to calm themselves. Instead of asking, “What do you want to do?”, you can ask, “Would you rather take some deep breaths or do hand squeezes?” Giving your child choices helps them feel in control, without getting overwhelmed with too many options.

Setting boundaries allows your child to express their feelings, while also understanding appropriate and expected behaviors. For example, you can say “I know that you’re upset, but hitting and yelling is not an option.” Then, giving your child limited choices of appropriate responses can allow them to choose how to handle the situation in an appropriate way.

Making a safe space for your child to take a break is a great way to teach self-regulation. If they are having a meltdown, you can say, “It looks like you need a break. Go take a break, and when you’re ready, you come back to me.” Giving your child a safe space allows them to calm themselves and be in control of when they’re ready to come back and have a conversation with you.

If you know of something that may cause your child to have a meltdown, preparing them in advance will help them know what to expect. You can let them know exactly what to expect, including what activity they’ll be doing, who they’ll be with, and how you’ll help them handle the situation. For example, if your child does not like going to the doctor, you can tell them a day in advance, several hours in advance, and in the hours leading up to the event: “It’s almost time to go to the doctor. I’ll be with you the whole time, and if you need a break, you can let me know. After the doctor, we can come back home and play together!”

Using a visual timer and pictures for a schedule is another great way to give your child a visual to help them understand what to expect. You can also remind them out-loud when it’s almost time for a transition or new activity.

Heavy work is a great way to give your child proprioceptive input, which is a way to calm your child’s nervous system. Proprioception is the sensation that provides feedback to your muscles and joints to know where your body is in space and coordinating their movements. Heavy work activities include wall push-ups, tug of war, bear squeezes, hand squeezes, animal walks, jumping on a pile of pillows, and pushing/pulling heavy objects. Incorporating these activities into your daily routine can provide your child with calming sensory input.

If you have any questions or concerns about your child’s development, our therapists would love to help! Visit our website or give us a call at 859-353-3666.

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